Shilputsi Consultants

How to maintain a relationship after the last call!

Purvi Sheth, Vice President, Shilputsi Consultants – India/ USA

Relationships are always complex and maintaining them, even more confusing! One can hardly ever guarantee sequential events in any interaction. The whole game gets more puzzling when it is a temporary professional association!

Whether it is networking our way along, building connections that help us in the future or forging alliances that can be easily leveraged, we, as managers and leaders realize it is essential to remain in contact with people even after specific professional exchanges have been completed.

Short term relationships

Lessons on managing people are learnt from the day we enter the corporate workforce and go well beyond retirement. With time and maturity we learn to survive in the commercial world imbibing various mantras including “no permanent enemies” and “few constant friends”.

A rapidly changing environment allows for several chances to meet different people. Most would agree that excellent emerging opportunities are a perfect blend of hard work, network and good luck! While the luck aspect seems a little beyond our control, hard work is highly individual related! Yet, what can be honed, is the ability to form and manage short term relationships, converting them to long term advantages!

In the process of a job or career shift, one gets to know a variety of professionals. These might be people that you would not necessarily have met in your own circles. However, these links are not always maintained and forgetting them is easy. But there maybe hidden losses and opportunity costs of not staying in touch.

The last call

Whether actively seeking change or “open” to interesting career moves, by the time you reach a certain managerial and leadership level, you have definitely appeared for a few interviews! In fact, by design or by default, usually, one manages to explore options in not just the realm of ones domain specialization, geographies and skill sets but even outside of these. With abundant opportunities on offer, this trend is only increasing.

Scenario I - Imagine a situation where you go through two or three or even five meetings with a particular company that you were keen to work with. You are offered the job, but, for whatever reasons, it doesn’t conclude with you being employed with them. The last phone conversation or meeting ends any immediate prospect of working together.

Scenario II - You have one or two meetings with a potential employer and it is decided that there is little natural fit between your capabilities and the job. The company politely tells you it may not work out but promises to get back to you incase of worthwhile options, later.

Although, in either case, there is no apparent reason to then stay in touch, we are aware that this not a finality to that relationship. The option is to remain connected or hope that the courtship will miraculously resume someday!

For every offer turned down, or for every recruiting process where you weren’t the selected candidate, there continues a chance of a prospect lurking in the background!

What next?

Whether it is personal life or a professional setup, the dilemma of propriety and ways to call an acquaintance remain unresolved. There is an awkwardness that one feels about keeping contact with people whose job offer one may have rejected. Then there is the discomfort of making a call to those places where your candidature did not match. I have often noticed candidates ruining the likelihood of any future communication by making that last interaction cold, disagreeable or just plain bitter, leaving no avenue open for restarting the dialogue!

While there are no codes or rules on the best mode of staying in touch, there could be ways of positively being on the “radar”! Some suggestions to protect the longevity of an association..

Remember it is not the final goodbye – There is a belief that when there is regretful news involved in a conversation, it translates into a bad and hopeless ending. This is not true and whether you are declining a job or the company is refusing you, do not turn the exchange into a rueful discussion. Keep it positive and try not to react to the circumstances by strong emotion.

After the last call, email! – Yes, it’s true – the written word triumphs and glosses over any misrepresentation of tone in the last phone call! Write a message that leaves the talk open ended and comfortable for the person at the other end to get back whenever needed. Convey your enthusiasm and spirit to retain the affiliation.

Decide your point of contact – In the process of interviews you may have met various people. Choose the one or two people you are comfortable with, who would be unproblematic as well as apt to talk to every now and then. Don’t attempt to reach out to everyone you met since all may not be receptive.

Keep in touch regularly, but not too often – In a bid to stay top of mind, do not aggressively call or pelt with messages. Instead, maintain a reasonable time between two follow ups so as not to convey desperation and anxiety. Don’t alarm them with your persistence!

Express your interest not your ego – In matters of career, the better part of valor is to not let unwarranted stubbornness and exceptional self esteem come in the way! If you happen to find out about exciting opportunities with a company you have spoken to before, call them and express your interest again. Don’t assume that they will call you if they want you or because they know of you.

The art of managing relationships and sustaining associations cannot possibly be captured in a single careers column. There are many variables and configurations to constructing and carrying on networks. But what is important is the demonstration of continual interest so as not to make the previous chat, your last one!